Recently, I had to take a trip to Atlanta. Because the meeting location was about an hour from the airport, I decided to rent a car.  Along the way, I drove by a graveyard.  I have passed by graveyards many times, but this time it was different. Normally, I think about the family members and friends of mine that have passed away and I say a little prayer of thanks for having had them in my life and for all of the lessons they taught me through their stories.  Often times, I find myself tearing up, because of how much I miss them.  But the thoughts of missing them are trumped by the joy and comfort I have knowing that we shared so much together when they were alive. In addition to the fact that the lessons they taught me, continue to lead and guide me.

The stories buried with the individual

All of the sudden, I became sad again.  Not because of the people I personally knew that have passed, but because I thought about how many of those individuals in that graveyard died with their stories untold?  How many of their family members and friends truly knew them? How many of them had stories and information that if shared could have touched and changed someone’s life? So many times when someone passes we hear people say, “if only I could have spent more time with them.  If only I could have gotten to know them better.”

I also thought about how many of them passed with the regret and disappointment of knowing that they never pursued their dreams and passions in life…and now, it is too late.

It is not too late to tell your story

However, it is not too late for you and I.  You can tell your story, you can inspire others, and you can leave a legacy for yourself. It does not have to be on a grand scale…just tell your story to the people in your life who mean something to you.  Share the lessons you have learned and that have shaped you as a person.  Teach your children the lessons life has taught you, what to do and what to avoid.  If you are a manager teach your employees the stories about your career that can help them.

I have been fortunate enough to write a book titled, “What’s Your Sales Story?”  This book was written because I wanted to inspire other professionals through my story, and give them a roadmap for which to write and tell their own story.  My book, will also serve as a teaching guide for my daughter when she starts her professional career.

Since the day my wife and I found out that she was pregnant, I started keeping a journal for our daughter. I chronicle the daily lessons and stories that are not only shaping my life but hers as well.  I am overwhelmed with joy and peace knowing that she will always have those journals to serve as a reminder of who her father was and the story of her life. I highly recommend that all parents do that for your children.  When you are gone, how will they remember you?

Finally, make sure that at the end of the day you have no regrets in life and can say, starting today, that you pursued your dreams and passions in life.  When someone you know passes by your gravesite, make sure that they can say…I know his or her story!

Now it is time to share your story.  Please write back and share your comments.  Remember, your story can change lives!

To your story!

Ja Marr

From the moment he walked thru the door, I, and everyone else in attendance found ourselves caught in the whirlwind that was Bill Clinton. There was something about him that simply drew you in. I wanted to figure out exactly why he had such an affect on people; so I closely watched his every move. From the way he walked to the way that he looked and talked to people. Almost immediately, the answers to my questions began to surface.

He walked with a confident and knowing disposition. Unlike many other politicians who when campaigning, seem to be in a race to shake the most hands and get thru the crowd as quickly as possible, Bill Clinton stopped and talked to each person as if they were the reason why he came to the event. As he shook each person’s hand, he smiled and connected with them thru listening and finding something in common.

The first time he came up to me, he quickly glanced at my name tag (I only noticed because I was still studying him) and then said, “Ja Marr, thanks for coming. Where are you from?” “San Diego,” I responded. “Great city, people from San Diego tend to be very friendly and relaxed like yourself.” “I really like your suit (he and I were wearing the same colored suit). Let’s take a picture, he said.” There was a professional photographer walking around and as we were taking the picture, he asked me, what college I attended. I told him “Whittier College.” “Some great leaders have come out of Whittier College,” he said; and we spent the next minute or so discussing some of the famous and infamous Whittier Alums; from former President Richard Nixon to, Rhoads Scholar Stan Sanders. As he was walking away, he said, “It was great to meet you Ja Marr.”

I continued to study him as he walked thru the crowd some more. He never waivered from his initial disposition. He gave a 30 minute talk on everything from political issues such as the current presidential race, healthcare, the economy, national security and global issues that affect the US. People hung on his every word. I found myself equally drawn in. Then I became present once again and asked myself, “why is this man having such and affect on people?” The answer was surprisingly simple. First of all, he practically knew each person in attendance due to the way he connected with them from the moment he walked thru the door. Second, as he was speaking, not once did it feel as if he was speaking in a tone that suggested that he was President Clinton and we were not. It honestly felt as if we were having a conversation at a casual dinner. He was doing all of the talking but it felt like we were having a conversation.

After his talk, he walked around some more and ended up right in front of me again. Before I could get a word out he said, “Ja Marr, are you enjoying yourself? I was stunned by the fact that he called me by name. Did he remember it, or did he look at my nametag again? To this day, I don’t know. I said, “Great talk and it was a pleasure meeting you.” Then he said, ‘thank-you. Let’s take another picture.” As we were taking the second picture he said to make sure that I continue to support Whittier College, and he hopes to see me as one of the great leaders that come from that institution.

After he walked around a few more minutes, the secrete service stepped in and whisked him away because he was late for another event. There was a distinct difference in the vibe of the crowd after he left. People were socializing, laughing, exchanging business cards and talking about how great it was to meet Bill Clinton. That was a contrast to the vibe of the crowd before he walked in. Yes, guests were friendly and socialized some, but Bill Clinton made acquaintances and strangers, fell like old friends.

After I met some more people and exchanged a few more business cards, I decided it was time to leave. I was shocked by the scene that awaited me outside. I thought that I had figured out Bill Clinton’s formula during the event, but what I saw outside, after the event was over really gave me clarity. Outside of the home of where the event had taken place, a crowed of curious neighbors had gathered across the street. At first, I signed it off as just a few curious on-lookers; but then something really significant caught my attention.

In the middle of all of the crowed of neighbors and curious on-lookers was…Bill Clinton. He had the same disposition as he had during the event. He smiled, shook hands, looked people in the eye and seemed to talk to each person individually. All of this as the secrete service stood by. I could not help but think to myself, “the 30 guests in attendance each paid $1,000.00 to attend; and here was Bill Clinton treating people that did not attend the event, and paid zero dollars, the same way as those that paid $1000.00! To me, that was the most impressive thing that Bill Clinton did that evening. It reminded me of the age old adage, Treat everyone equally.

As sales people, we often treat our customers and their office staffs differently based on our idea as to how valuable or important each person is based on their title or decision making ability. We often think that it is a waste of time “connecting” with individuals that do not write the checks, or the prescriptions (for those in the pharmaceutical arena). But you must remember, you never know who someone really is or just how important they are or will be one day. Today’s front office secretary could be tomorrow’s office manager. The lady at the front desk could be the physician’s wife. Think about this, the neighbors outside had no expectation that Bill Clinton would take the time to talk to them. They were not invited to the event and did not pay any money to spend time with him. However, they found themselves getting the same treatment that those of us who paid $1,000.00 did. How special did that make them feel! What if you were in their shoes? How would you feel? Regardless of what they felt about Bill Clinton prior to that evening, I promise you that they developed a new respect and fondness towards him.

If you are someone that strives for success in sales and wants to be a perennial top performer, I encourage you to apply the lessons that Bill Clinton taught me about sales.

concert ticket

On July 24^th, my wife and I attended a Lionel Richie concert. Lionel Richie is my all time favorite performer, singer, and songwriter. There is something about his music that truly touches my spirit. One of my life long ambitions was to see him in concert. I guess you could say that it was on my bucket list. One month prior to the concert, I was driving to the airport and noticed a billboard promoting the concert. Since I did not have time to call and buy the tickets myself, I immediately called my brother and asked him to purchase the two best seats he could buy.

For the next few weeks, I was filled with excitement and anticipation for the concert. I would play Lionel Richie songs all day, whether I was in my car or at my house. Songs like, “Sail on, Stuck on you, Three times a Lady, Hello ect”, would play in my head constantly. I could not wait for the night of the concert. However, underlying all of my excitement was one concern. Often times, artists, use concerts as a way to promote their new albums. Would Lionel do the same? Sure his new music is good, but I fell in love with his old music. That is what I wanted to hear; and that is what I paid top dollar to experience.

Concert night! The crowd was abuzz with excitement. Drinks were flowing, people were socializing, and the mood was set. The announcer spoke up and went thru Lionel’s musical achievements which read like a curriculum vitae of a Nobel Prize winner. Then he said the words that everyone wanted to hear, “Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Lionel Richie.” The cheers were deafening. So much so that it was hard to hear the song he was singing. It sounded good but a bit unfamiliar. As the noise from the crowd subsided, the song he was singing was loud and clear. Unfortunately, it was not, “Sail On, or Hello or any of the songs I came to hear. It was one of his newer songs. Uh Oh, I thought to myself, my biggest fear is being realized, he is going to sing all of his new songs and promote his latest album. I did not pay to hear this! I sunk in my chair and mentally prepared myself to accept what was happening. I tried to psych myself out by saying that even though he is not going to sing my favorite songs; at least I can say that I saw Lionel Richie in concert. But who was I kidding, I was truly disappointed.

After he sang his first song, he walked to the edge of the stage, shook hands with people that were lucky enough to get front row seats and said the following, “I can tell that this crowd did not come to hear me sing my new music. You guys want to hear my old school music…when I was with the Commodores. You want to hear my greatest hits don’t you? I probably yelled “YES” louder than anyone in the building. “Alright,” he said, “tonight we are going to sing every single one of my greatest hits.”

The concert was absolutely amazing! He sounded just as good as he does on CDs. He was personable and even signed autographs during the show. Because I literally sang every song, it took my voice two days to recover from being so hoarse. I could not have asked for a better evening.

As salespeople, we are constantly taught the importance of uncovering needs. But often times we either tell our customers what we think they want to hear, which is truly what we think is important or we ignore them when we find out what their needs are. Could Lionel Richie have given a good performance singing his newest music? Yes. Would I have enjoyed the concert? Somewhat. But, by understanding what the people truly wanted and then giving them what they wanted, he has thousands of people saying that that was one of the best nights of their lives as opposed to it was just ok or how disappointing the performance was. The moral of the story is that if you uncover the needs of your customers and then fulfill those needs, you will have people saying how impactful you are vs. just being ok or missing the mark completely.