From day one, Gina has been very hard on me. She is already known as the toughest and best instructor at the gym. Every time we do an exercise or a stretch she will walk over to me and tell me to push it harder or I am not giving it my all. As I sit here writing this, the words; “faster, higher, move it, push it, come on now and you can do better than that,” are screaming at me louder than the music I am listening to on my IPod. That is what Gina yells as me throughout the entire hour long class. It honestly feels like it did during Hell Week at the start of my H.S. Football season. In many ways, she is harder on me than my coach was. I must admit that at first, I was a little turned off by her treatment of me. What made matters worse was that I was the youngest person in the class by at least 20 years and often times, the only male…can you say awkward. I dealt with the chastising and punishment for two reasons. First, I was taking the class for a purpose and was not about to let her treatment of me cause me to lose focus and quit. Second, there was a certain energy and strength about her that I admired. Last week, after more punishment during class, Gina and I had a brief conversation that showed me just where that energy and strength and treatment of me was coming from.
I look at you and think what if…
Usually, after class a few of the students sit in the sauna for a cool down or warm down as it were. That day after class it was just Gina and I in the sauna. She was asking me questions about my family, what I do for a living, my hopes and dreams, etc. She seemed intensely interested in what I was saying and kept telling me how proud she was of me and to keep going. “Don’t let anything stop you,” she said. As usual, I did not want to dominate the discussion and wanted to learn more about her, so I asked her to tell me about her life. She proceeded to tell me about how great her life has been and how at 67 years old, she and her husband stay active and enjoy their life. Then she asked me my age and I told her. Next she said that she has a son my age. She said that unfortunately, he suffers from schizophrenia and Parkinson’s disease and can’t do a lot of the things he hoped he would do with his life. Next she hit me with one of the most touching and impactful things anyone has ever said to me. She said that, “Looking and watching you, reminds me of what my son could have been. I see you and think, what if my son could live a normal life…he would probably be just like you.” She continued by saying, “That is why I push you so hard. You seem like such a bright, professional and personable young man. You have the world at your fingertips. I want you to do and be all the things that my son can’t.”
Life will never be the same again
It is amazing how you can learn from and benefit from the thoughts and wisdom of others if you are an open minded person and allow yourself to “be affected” by life. Needless to say, I was deeply affected by my conversation with Gina. I can’t think of very many compliments that are as great as telling someone that they remind you of their son or in this case, what their son could have been. I will never forget Gina’s words to me and I will use them to continue to improve and better my life. I am not a negative person or a complainer in general, but during those moments when I find myself going down the glass half-full route, I will remember Gina’s words. There is so much opportunity and life to experience…enjoy your life, live in the moment, be appreciative for what you do have and not overly focused on what you don’t have. When you think that your life is bad or not going in the right direction, remember that you can do something about it, you do have control unlike others that don’t such as Gina’s son or the soldiers in Iraq or the people of Haiti. Take full advantage of your life while you can. When you think about how difficult your life is, just remember all those whose life is really tough and as Gina would say, keep going, push it, you can do it.
Now it’s time to tell your story
As you look back at your life, can you think of any Gina types of people you have spoken to? If so, please share what you learned or should have learned from those discussions.
To Your Story!
Ja Marr
It is pretty much inevitable when you meet someone for the first time and engage in a conversation that the subject of what each person does for a living comes up. “So, where do you work, or what do you do for a living,” are the typical questions. This discussion is 100% guaranteed to happen on the golf course because everyone is trying to figure out how the guy they are playing with can afford such an expensive game. For those of us that have passions and aspirations outside of our 9 to 5 so to speak, this question of what you do for a living can pose a mental dilemma.
When “I am” changes
Since the release of my book, What’s Your Sales Story? when asked what I do for a living, I find myself struggling with the appropriate response. Up until the release of my book, I was always very clear and decisive with my answer to that question: I am a salesperson, I am a corporate sales trainer, I am a marketing product manager, I am a sales manager, I am a Regional Sales Director; those were the answers to that question for the first 15 years of my career. They were all based on the corporate titles I held at the time. But now that I have unleashed a non-corporate undertaking with my book and blog etc, I find that my “I am a…” is changing or has changed as it were.
Who are you now?
Yes, I still have a corporate job that I am committed to and greatly enjoy. But on the other hand, writing and teaching is a very strong passion of mine. When someone asks me, What I do for a living? The answer of, “I am a writer, teacher and inspirational speaker” is absolutely exhilarating for me. As a sales manager, a major part of my job is to teach…and it is great. But when I reflect back on my life ever since I was a child and would journal every aspect of my life, from the times I got dumped in grammar school, to the loss of a loved one and even to what I wanted to be when I grew up, it all comes back to writing. So when you see me in the streets or on the golf course on an early Saturday morning and ask me what I do for a living, I will say, “I am a writer!”
What do you want to say that you do for a living?
As you can imagine, it is great to be able to say what you do for a living, and have it be something that you have always wanted to do. However, for many of us, the reality is that we are not doing what we truly want to be doing for a living. Therefore, when asked that question, your answer is tainted with either a hint of or healthy dose of regret. All my life, I was filled with the unrelenting idea that everyone can truly achieve their ambitions in life and do whatever they want to do. However, the reality is that some of us will and some of us will not. The main reason is that the sacrifices, commitment, fear, uncertainty and resources required more often than not outweighs the person’s true desire to actually achieve what that person thinks s/he wants to achieve. But contrary to popular belief, that “reality” does not have to prevent you from doing what you want to do for a living. You may not be able to leave your job or start your own company today, but you can begin to take steps towards it or actually do it while maintaining your 9 to 5. I teach people how to do this during my coaching, keynote and training seminars. I did not just quit my job and write, “What’s Your Sales Story.” I dedicated my nights and early mornings on weekends to pursue my passion for writing. Was it difficult? Absolutely. Was it worth it? I would not change any second of that journey for anything. And now, as I write to you, I am continuing to do what I love to do for a living.
The question I pose to you now is, “What do you do for a living?”
To your Story!
Ja Marr