Recently, while on our annual winter family vacation, I woke up early one morning and began to write in my journal. I found myself writing about what went wrong in 2010 and what I could have done differently. Then I proceeded to write out these major New Year’s Resolutions for 2011.  All of the sudden, I literally jumped up looked in the mirror and said to myself, “What the hell are you doing?” I had that reaction because I realized that I was going about the reflection and change process all wrong. I was not following the Kaizen philosophy that I had developed and had contributed to so much success in my life and the lives of the people that I taught it to.

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You see, one of the core principles of the Kaizen philosophy is Continuous Improvement. This is the process whereby you try and improve a little every day…not by doing more, but by doing less. You make small changes that lead to major breakthroughs.  Before you beat yourself up thinking about what went wrong or could have been better in 2010, first you should focus on what did work and what went right in 2010.  What were the thoughts and behaviors that really worked for you this past year?  Keep thinking and doing those things.  Secondly, really identify the wasteful thoughts and behaviors that were counterproductive to helping you achieve the things you wanted to in 2010 or that held you back…and simply stop doing and thinking those things. What you ultimately end up with is doing more of what works for you and less of what does not. Therefore, you can accomplish significantly more by actually doing less.

To Your Story!

Ja Marr

Life change for the price of a flavored bottle of water!

So there I was at the place I so often find myself, the airport.  Where was I going?  It really doesn’t matter; it was as we say in the business world, another business trip.  As I was walking through the terminal towards my gate, I glanced into one of the gift shops. Something caught my eye and I was instantly drawn to it like a moth to a flame.  Why?  I don’t know. It was as if there was a tractor beam pulling me in.  However, I did not resist it.  I simply followed its energy.  It lead me to a place I rarely even think about, and can’t remember the last time I even looked at it…the magazine rack.

Oprah caught my attention

Wow, was the first thing I thought to myself.  Do people really read all of these magazines?  How many niche markets can there be?  My eyes moved side to side like an old typewriter.  However, there was one magazine that made me stop as if my old typewriter had jammed and I was taking a closer look to figure out what the issue was. The magazine that caught my attention had a big “O” on the cover. It was Oprah Winfrey’s magazine.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I am a huge Oprah fan and am inspired by all that she has done, but I have never purchased one of her magazines.  Today would be different.

The high price of flavored water

As I walked to the counter to pay for her magazine, I decided to also buy something to drink.  I looked around at the countless number of flavored waters and just reached out and picked the color that I felt like drinking.  Just then, I glanced down at the price. Really! I shouted in my head.  Does it really cost this much to drink colored, slightly flavored distilled water? In any event, I was thirsty (and all the bars at the airport were closed) so I continued with this highway robbery.

Water and life change cost the same

I placed my “O” magazine and flavored, high priced tap water on the counter.  Just then, I noticed the price of the “O” magazine.  I could not believe it.  The sugar water I had purchased cost just as much as the “O” magazine.  I thought to myself, it costs just as much to drink tap water as it does to read something that I believed could truly change my life as it has inspired the lives of so many other people. It was at that moment I realized that for just about the same amount of money as a bottled water or coffee or energy drink, you can buy a book or a magazine that can inspire you and help you on your journey toward achieving your aspirations and  life’s purpose. So the next time you reach for that green, yellow, purple or fuchsia colored water you might as well pick up a life changing magazine or book along with it.

As soon as I am done writing this, I am going to open up my “O” magazine, learn all I can from it, apply the ideas and principles and become a better person and professional as I drink my “Water.”

To Your Story!

Ja Marr

Recently, I had to take a trip to Atlanta. Because the meeting location was about an hour from the airport, I decided to rent a car.  Along the way, I drove by a graveyard.  I have passed by graveyards many times, but this time it was different. Normally, I think about the family members and friends of mine that have passed away and I say a little prayer of thanks for having had them in my life and for all of the lessons they taught me through their stories.  Often times, I find myself tearing up, because of how much I miss them.  But the thoughts of missing them are trumped by the joy and comfort I have knowing that we shared so much together when they were alive. In addition to the fact that the lessons they taught me, continue to lead and guide me.

The stories buried with the individual

All of the sudden, I became sad again.  Not because of the people I personally knew that have passed, but because I thought about how many of those individuals in that graveyard died with their stories untold?  How many of their family members and friends truly knew them? How many of them had stories and information that if shared could have touched and changed someone’s life? So many times when someone passes we hear people say, “if only I could have spent more time with them.  If only I could have gotten to know them better.”

I also thought about how many of them passed with the regret and disappointment of knowing that they never pursued their dreams and passions in life…and now, it is too late.

It is not too late to tell your story

However, it is not too late for you and I.  You can tell your story, you can inspire others, and you can leave a legacy for yourself. It does not have to be on a grand scale…just tell your story to the people in your life who mean something to you.  Share the lessons you have learned and that have shaped you as a person.  Teach your children the lessons life has taught you, what to do and what to avoid.  If you are a manager teach your employees the stories about your career that can help them.

I have been fortunate enough to write a book titled, “What’s Your Sales Story?”  This book was written because I wanted to inspire other professionals through my story, and give them a roadmap for which to write and tell their own story.  My book, will also serve as a teaching guide for my daughter when she starts her professional career.

Since the day my wife and I found out that she was pregnant, I started keeping a journal for our daughter. I chronicle the daily lessons and stories that are not only shaping my life but hers as well.  I am overwhelmed with joy and peace knowing that she will always have those journals to serve as a reminder of who her father was and the story of her life. I highly recommend that all parents do that for your children.  When you are gone, how will they remember you?

Finally, make sure that at the end of the day you have no regrets in life and can say, starting today, that you pursued your dreams and passions in life.  When someone you know passes by your gravesite, make sure that they can say…I know his or her story!

Now it is time to share your story.  Please write back and share your comments.  Remember, your story can change lives!

To your story!

Ja Marr

Alexis and I at our first father daughter dance.

I was trying to think of ways to start this article, but the words, “I’m Back”  kept playing in my mind.  So I will start by saying that, “I’m Back!” 

What exactly does that mean?  It means that I am back at the place where I spent so many hours thinking and writing; the local coffee shop on an early Saturday morning.  I have not done this routine in at least two months.  Waking up early and going to the local coffee shop (with a book or my personal journal in hand) had been a routine of mine for years.  It is where I wrote the majority of my first book, “What’s Your Sales Story.” 

 I would get up before the family, head to the local coffee shop and read and write until I received a text from my wife letting me know that she and our daughter were awake.  Then I would head home and we would spend family time together the rest of the weekend.  It was such a great feeling to study your life and clear your mind at the end of the week; and then spend time with your loved ones. 

When Life Gets In the Way of…Life

As we all know, however, there are times when life gets in the way of, well…life.  You know those times because we’ve all been there.  We get busy, the pressures of work and life add up and before we know it we’re distracted and often times disconnected from what really matters most.  During these times we tend to stop doing the things that we love to do and focus on all of the “stuff” life throws at us.  While we may make some really good progress on achieving desired outcomes it is not uncommon to confuse activity with accomplishment. 

But fortunately I recognized it was time to re-adjust and get back to doing the things that bring peace to my life  and spending time with those that I truly love.  So here I am at the coffee shop, writing, thinking and feeling at peace.  The truth is that I never lost sight of what I loved doing and of course, I always carve out time with my family. But sometimes we need that wake up call that stops us in our tracks and forces us to take action on the things we know we should be doing. The wake up call or as I would prefer to call it, “the inspiration” that woke me up early this morning and brought me back to my place of solace and peace actually happened last night.

A Valentine’s Dance With My Daughter

My daughter and I went to our first father daughter Valentine’s dance at her school.  I cannot tell you how excited I was to go to this dance.  From the time I found out about the dance two weeks ago, I was filled with anticipation.  I thought about the fun we would have, how I would show her how a gentleman is supposed to treat a lady, the pictures and video we would take, the dancing we would do, the conversations we would have, the smiles, the laughter and most importantly, just spending quality time together. 

However, when we walked into the ballroom, my vision of the night was soon replaced by reality.  Five of her classmates seemed to appear out of thin air and were all screaming and running towards us.  When they finally reached us, they all began hugging and telling each other how pretty they looked and how beautiful their dresses were.  Then the words I dreaded to hear were said, “Alexis, let’s go play.”  She looked at me with the look that always makes me melt and said, “Daddy, can I go?”  As much as I wanted to say no, I knew that I had to let her go.   So she was off to the dance floor where an assortment of balloons was ready to be kicked and punched around and I was left standing with my daughter’s coat and our camera in hand.

Watching my daughter with her, “girlfriends” reminded me of the fact that this scene will play itself out more and more as she gets older.  Honestly, I was very sad.  I felt that my dreams of our father daughter dance had been shattered.  That’s when a revelation came over me. 

I thought about my Kaizen Way philosophy of Eliminating Wasteful Thoughts and Behaviors. I realized that I was thinking in a way that was counter-productive to the memories I wanted to have of that evening.  So many times in life, when things don’t work out exactly the way we want them to, we tend to wallow in self pity and stop trying as opposed to finding ways to make the most of the situation.  I went out to the dance floor and found myself in a balloon fight with my daughter and her friends. 

I took out my camera and started flashing pictures and taking video.  We all did dances such as the robot, cabbage patch, running man and jumped around like kids should.  We even did a father daughter skip down the Soul Train line that we created.  When the Jonas Brothers came on, I felt it was time for me to take a break. 

After several minutes, the DJ came on the microphone and announced that it was time for a father daughter slow dance.  Once again, a wasteful thought of, does Alexis want to dance with me crept into my mind.  All of the sudden, I saw her skipping towards me with a smile on her face that I will never forget.  I was standing with two other fathers at the time she reached me.  She grabbed my hand and said “Daddy, I was looking for you.  I want to dance with you.” 

As she lead me to the dance floor, she turned back and said something that I will never forget for the rest of my life, “Daddy, thank you for taking me to the dance.  This is the best night of my life!”

Enjoy the Moment

That night I was reminded of one of the keys to a successful life and career…Enjoy the moment!  Life is moving by so fast and things seldom turn out exactly the way you plan them.  However, if you stay focused on making the best out of any situation and do not allow wasteful thoughts to consume you, you will get the outcome you are looking for.  It may not look or sound like you envisioned it, but believe me, it will be exactly what you need. 

To your Story

We weren’t in the car for more than ten minutes and already the day was getting off to a bad start. The VP of Sales, who was riding along with me for the day, wasted no time grilling me about my poor sales performance.

Immediately I went on the defensive. No matter how much confidence I had in my talent, I firmly felt that the territory I covered was so bad that it was my biggest obstacle to becoming a perennial sales performer. I reiterated what was told to me by my hiring manager that the Los Angeles territory was one of the worst in the nation. It had always been that way and would remain that way. In addition to the bad territory, I felt there was a lack of support and guidance from my manager, which was also hindering my progress.

Of course the VP of Sales saw the situation completely different. He was steadfast in his belief that the problem was me. “Ja Marr, let me ask you something”, the VP of Sales said. “No matter how you try and pass the buck, at the end of the day, when it comes to your performance whose responsibility is it?”

I knew what he was trying to do, but I was not about to give in. In my mind, he was trying to get me to admit that the poor sales performance was all my fault and that would give him enough HR ammo to fire me. So as to outsmart him, and not dig my own grave, I was stubbornly persistent and continued to present my version of the truth. I repeated my earlier answers about how bad the territory is and lack of support. To his credit, the VP of Sales was not about to give in either.

He narrowed his focus on me and with a stern, yet measured tone and stated, “It’s your responsibility. Nobody else’s but yours. Everything that happens, in your territory, good or bad – is your responsibility. You have talent but you have failed miserably at taking ownership and owing up to your responsibility. Until you do you will not be successful here or any other company you work at.”

Our debate ended right there. Not because I immediately understood his point, but because I had nothing left to defend myself. For the next thirty minutes we drove to the first appointment in total silence. I opened up my mind and allowed for his words to percolate. Something about the line “you will not be successful here or anywhere” resonated. My perception of what was actually possible in my territory and the meaning behind taking ownership and responsibility started to actually sink in.

We pulled up to the office of our first physician. Before we got out of the car the VP of Sales turned to me once again and asked, “So who’s responsibility is it?”

I replied confidently, “It’s my responsibility.” For the first time in my career I understood what this meant. A clear sense of relief came over me.

The VP of Sales recognized the importance of this and said, “Good. Now I can teach you how to improve your sales results.”

Without the burden of anger, resentment or frustration hanging over me, I walked toward the physician’s office with a sense of relief. A major turn in my career had taken place.

For the first time in my career, I took full responsibility for my results. I realized that all of the time I spent blaming others could have been spent trying to improve myself and learning how to be successful.

Were there uncontrollable challenges in my territory? Yes. But was I helping or hurting the situation? I realized that I was actually hurting the situation by contributing to the problems with my poor attitude as opposed to finding solutions and focusing on what I could control.

Did the gripe sessions I had with other salespeople in the company help or hurt my situation? We all have a choice when faced with adversity in sales, and that choice is to change your attitude or change your address. I decided to change my attitude and it was one of the single most contributing factors to my success. And, as I continued to learn from and study perennial top performers, I found out that it was theirs as well.

Consider the answer to the following question:

Have you ducked responsibility in your career?

If so, make a comment to this post and describe the moment where you came to the realization that your performance was your responsibility.

Who or what played a role in you realizing the importance of taking responsibility and ownership with your performance?

If you have not fully taken responsibility yet what can you do, starting today, to take ownership and put yourself on a path towards perennial sales success?

It’s been said that to succeed in sales you must possess a healthy sized ego. But what exactly does that mean? For most it means the bigger the ego the easier you will bounce back from rejection. The ego, though, is much more than just how highly you think of yourself or the amount of confidence you exude. When it comes to succeeding in sales, it’s not the size of your ego that matters, but how you manage it.

According to psychologists the ego is defined as “self”, which begs more questions than it delivers answers. Perhaps a more correct definition is to say the ego is the ultimate shape shifter. It changes how it wants to be perceived based on who you are interacting with or what you’re dealing with at any given moment. I call this our “sales self or sales ego”, which means who we are when we are selling.

From the stories we tell ourselves to the stories others tell us, our ego is behind how we interpret them. Whether the stories are helping or hurting us, they tend to get played repeatedly in our heads. The reoccurring themes produce a pattern of behavior. For salespeople, when the ego is involved, the pattern of behavior that results is both common and predictable.

Depending on the stories your ego has fed you about success, you may embrace it or you may be fearful of it. For many salespeople, when they experience success, they get so wrapped up in their accomplishments that they forget what they did to achieve that success in the first place and tend to lose sight of why they are selling. The end result is usually a crash landing into reality when they soon find themselves struggling and can’t seem to repeat their earlier successes.

If things are not going well salespeople are known to weave stories where they convince themselves and others that the negative results they’re getting is not their responsibility.

“I have a difficult territory.”

“Our products cost too much.”

“Our competitors have more advanced and innovative products.”

“A poor sales year always follows a good sales year.”

“My customers don’t like me.”

“My boss does not like me.”

“The compensation plan is no good.”

“Sales are always low during this quarter.”

“The products I have to sell don’t do everything they’re supposed to.”

Do any of these sound familiar? More than likely, you’ve either used one or more of these in your career. If not, you’ve certainly heard them from other salespeople and even sales managers.

If you only remember one thing from this bog entry, remember this; everything you do and everything your think each day is pulling you closer to your desired outcomes, or it’s pushing you further away from it.

The direction by which you choose to go is navigated by your ego. In order to move your ego out of the way of your sales success, you will want to start by rediscovering or possibly uncovering, for the first time, the primary reason why you sell. And it isn’t to make money.

Remember, making money in sales is a byproduct of whatever your why is. In this book you will learn through my own personal story and by uncovering your own story how to not let your ego get in the way of your sales success.