Alexis and I at our first father daughter dance.

I was trying to think of ways to start this article, but the words, “I’m Back”  kept playing in my mind.  So I will start by saying that, “I’m Back!” 

What exactly does that mean?  It means that I am back at the place where I spent so many hours thinking and writing; the local coffee shop on an early Saturday morning.  I have not done this routine in at least two months.  Waking up early and going to the local coffee shop (with a book or my personal journal in hand) had been a routine of mine for years.  It is where I wrote the majority of my first book, “What’s Your Sales Story.” 

 I would get up before the family, head to the local coffee shop and read and write until I received a text from my wife letting me know that she and our daughter were awake.  Then I would head home and we would spend family time together the rest of the weekend.  It was such a great feeling to study your life and clear your mind at the end of the week; and then spend time with your loved ones. 

When Life Gets In the Way of…Life

As we all know, however, there are times when life gets in the way of, well…life.  You know those times because we’ve all been there.  We get busy, the pressures of work and life add up and before we know it we’re distracted and often times disconnected from what really matters most.  During these times we tend to stop doing the things that we love to do and focus on all of the “stuff” life throws at us.  While we may make some really good progress on achieving desired outcomes it is not uncommon to confuse activity with accomplishment. 

But fortunately I recognized it was time to re-adjust and get back to doing the things that bring peace to my life  and spending time with those that I truly love.  So here I am at the coffee shop, writing, thinking and feeling at peace.  The truth is that I never lost sight of what I loved doing and of course, I always carve out time with my family. But sometimes we need that wake up call that stops us in our tracks and forces us to take action on the things we know we should be doing. The wake up call or as I would prefer to call it, “the inspiration” that woke me up early this morning and brought me back to my place of solace and peace actually happened last night.

A Valentine’s Dance With My Daughter

My daughter and I went to our first father daughter Valentine’s dance at her school.  I cannot tell you how excited I was to go to this dance.  From the time I found out about the dance two weeks ago, I was filled with anticipation.  I thought about the fun we would have, how I would show her how a gentleman is supposed to treat a lady, the pictures and video we would take, the dancing we would do, the conversations we would have, the smiles, the laughter and most importantly, just spending quality time together. 

However, when we walked into the ballroom, my vision of the night was soon replaced by reality.  Five of her classmates seemed to appear out of thin air and were all screaming and running towards us.  When they finally reached us, they all began hugging and telling each other how pretty they looked and how beautiful their dresses were.  Then the words I dreaded to hear were said, “Alexis, let’s go play.”  She looked at me with the look that always makes me melt and said, “Daddy, can I go?”  As much as I wanted to say no, I knew that I had to let her go.   So she was off to the dance floor where an assortment of balloons was ready to be kicked and punched around and I was left standing with my daughter’s coat and our camera in hand.

Watching my daughter with her, “girlfriends” reminded me of the fact that this scene will play itself out more and more as she gets older.  Honestly, I was very sad.  I felt that my dreams of our father daughter dance had been shattered.  That’s when a revelation came over me. 

I thought about my Kaizen Way philosophy of Eliminating Wasteful Thoughts and Behaviors. I realized that I was thinking in a way that was counter-productive to the memories I wanted to have of that evening.  So many times in life, when things don’t work out exactly the way we want them to, we tend to wallow in self pity and stop trying as opposed to finding ways to make the most of the situation.  I went out to the dance floor and found myself in a balloon fight with my daughter and her friends. 

I took out my camera and started flashing pictures and taking video.  We all did dances such as the robot, cabbage patch, running man and jumped around like kids should.  We even did a father daughter skip down the Soul Train line that we created.  When the Jonas Brothers came on, I felt it was time for me to take a break. 

After several minutes, the DJ came on the microphone and announced that it was time for a father daughter slow dance.  Once again, a wasteful thought of, does Alexis want to dance with me crept into my mind.  All of the sudden, I saw her skipping towards me with a smile on her face that I will never forget.  I was standing with two other fathers at the time she reached me.  She grabbed my hand and said “Daddy, I was looking for you.  I want to dance with you.” 

As she lead me to the dance floor, she turned back and said something that I will never forget for the rest of my life, “Daddy, thank you for taking me to the dance.  This is the best night of my life!”

Enjoy the Moment

That night I was reminded of one of the keys to a successful life and career…Enjoy the moment!  Life is moving by so fast and things seldom turn out exactly the way you plan them.  However, if you stay focused on making the best out of any situation and do not allow wasteful thoughts to consume you, you will get the outcome you are looking for.  It may not look or sound like you envisioned it, but believe me, it will be exactly what you need. 

To your Story