What Quincy Jones Taught me about Sales

Me, my brother and a few friends decided it was time to get together to catch up on old times. We agree to meet in Los Angeles which meant it was going to take three hours to get there from where I started- 50 miles away.  Typical LA traffic!  We were sitting in one of those nice, snazzy Hollywood restaurants when all of the sudden there was a buzz all around us. The wait staff began to run around and squeal like a marauding troop of Hyenas.  Having lived in Los Angeles for a number of years I knew what this commotion was all about. The only question I had was who would be the famous person walking in this time?

The Q is coming!
Enter the entourage:  Superbly dressed, and looking like “people of importance” they entered the restaurant.  Many of them were so busy being pampered that they did not notice my modest crew as they slipped into their seats at the table right across from us. I did not recognize any of them until I saw “The One.” Typically, I am not a star struck person and believe that everyone is equal…however, there are some people that have what is called the “IT” factor. By all accounts, this individual had “IT” and then some.  It was none other than Quincy Jones.

But you’re the star.
Once everyone recognized this person to be “The Quincy Jones”, the Paparazzi style buzz began.  The Hyenas seized the opportunity and began the mad rush for pictures, autographs and handshakes.  After a few moments, Q’s bodyguard rescued him from the mauling and guided him towards his table. All the while, Q maintained a welcoming smile and an apologetic demeanor for not being able to spend more  time with his fans.  Once again, the “IT” factor. Right before he sat down, he turned towards our table and asked, “How are you fellas doing tonight?”  Thinking he was just being polite and was not looking for a conversation, we all said (probably in awestruck unison) “fine and you.”  To everyone’s amazement, he continued talking to us.  However, the conversation was far from the Ego driven, let me tell you how great I am monologue that one would expect from such a big star.  Instead, when my friend told him, “It’s an honor to meet you sir.  You are one of the greatest and most influential artists of all time,” Q’s response was totally unexpected. He said, “Look, I am not the important one, you guys are.”  He went on to say that he has already carved his path in the world and now it is time for young people like yourselves to do so.” He also said that he has been all over the world and can recognize greatness when he sees it…and that he saw greatness  in us.  I was floored by his comments. For the next 15 minutes or so, we had an amazing conversation about everything from success, restaurants, life, world travel, Michael Jackson, Stevie Wonder, Ray Charles and our overall life experiences.  He asked us just as many questions as we asked him.  That night, he made us feel like we were the renowned star not him.

Thanks Q
Mr. Jones, I am not sure if you will ever read this, but I just wanted to say how much you truly touched my life that evening.  I can’t tell you how inspirational our conversation was.  In my book, “What’s Your Sales Story?” I discuss the fact that one of the main reasons I went from being a struggling professional to a  successful one  is that I transitioned from wanting to be the star and feeling important to making everyone else feel like they were the stars and the important ones.  Meeting you that evening reminded me of that lesson. You will be remembered as one of the greatest artist, musicians and composers of all time.  I also want people to know that I will remember you as someone that made others feel important and like they were truly the star!

To Your Story!

Ja Marr Brown

Nothing has changed
Last week, I was reminded of an age old lesson.  That lesson is that there are no shortcuts to success. Despite all of the advances in technology, medicine and cognitive understanding only effort and hard work truly bring success. Unfortunately, I learned this lesson at my daughter’s tennis lesson.  I say unfortunately because I have been steering her towards golf since she was born and after all that effort, out of the blue she tells me that she wants to be a tennis star.  Why?  Because my parents took her to a professional tennis match a few months ago and she met and got autographs from some of the top female tennis players in the world.  That experience lit a spark in her and now she wants to travel the world and compete against them.  When she gets older I will remind her that I took her to two LPGA golf tournaments and it did not faze her.  I digress.

It takes that much to succeed
Let me return to my point about hard work and effort.  So there I was at my daughter’s tennis lesson.  As the class was doing various drills, I overheard a conversation between another parent and the head instructor of the tennis club.  While I did not hear all of the details, I did hear something that really stuck with me.  The parent asked the instructor if he still competes in tournaments (apparently he used to be a big name player).  The instructor said no because he is only able to practice 2-3 hours a day.  He went on to say that when he was successful and winning tournaments, he would practice 4-6 hours a day. The instructor said, “If I am not prepared to compete at the highest level, then it does not make sense to do so.”

How about us
As I reflect on the conversation between the parent and the instructor, I thought about our lives as business professionals. How much do we prepare before we are “On Stage” or competing so to speak; whether it is before a sales call, big meeting, performance review with an employee, marketing presentation or any myriad of times when we have to perform? Fortunately, I have had bosses and mentors who drilled the importance of planning in my head since I was a very young professional.  It is no mystery that that the better I perform is in direct correlation to how much I have practiced and prepared. When I have an opportunity to mentor young adults and other professionals, I tell them that despite what they say their ambitions are in life, their level of effort in planning and practicing is the true indication of their ambitions.

What do the greats do?
A long time ago, I was talking to someone about the greatest athletes of all time.  Of course, Muhammad Ali’s name came up. Muhammad Ali was once quoted as saying something to the effect of, “I have already won the fight by the time I step into the ring.” Basically, what he was saying is because he had put in so much effort and was so prepared leading up to the fight that all he had to do was step in and execute…which he arguably did better than any other fighter of his generation.

To Your Story!

Ja Marr Brown

Recently, while on our annual winter family vacation, I woke up early one morning and began to write in my journal. I found myself writing about what went wrong in 2010 and what I could have done differently. Then I proceeded to write out these major New Year’s Resolutions for 2011.  All of the sudden, I literally jumped up looked in the mirror and said to myself, “What the hell are you doing?” I had that reaction because I realized that I was going about the reflection and change process all wrong. I was not following the Kaizen philosophy that I had developed and had contributed to so much success in my life and the lives of the people that I taught it to.

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You see, one of the core principles of the Kaizen philosophy is Continuous Improvement. This is the process whereby you try and improve a little every day…not by doing more, but by doing less. You make small changes that lead to major breakthroughs.  Before you beat yourself up thinking about what went wrong or could have been better in 2010, first you should focus on what did work and what went right in 2010.  What were the thoughts and behaviors that really worked for you this past year?  Keep thinking and doing those things.  Secondly, really identify the wasteful thoughts and behaviors that were counterproductive to helping you achieve the things you wanted to in 2010 or that held you back…and simply stop doing and thinking those things. What you ultimately end up with is doing more of what works for you and less of what does not. Therefore, you can accomplish significantly more by actually doing less.

To Your Story!

Ja Marr

Life change for the price of a flavored bottle of water!

So there I was at the place I so often find myself, the airport.  Where was I going?  It really doesn’t matter; it was as we say in the business world, another business trip.  As I was walking through the terminal towards my gate, I glanced into one of the gift shops. Something caught my eye and I was instantly drawn to it like a moth to a flame.  Why?  I don’t know. It was as if there was a tractor beam pulling me in.  However, I did not resist it.  I simply followed its energy.  It lead me to a place I rarely even think about, and can’t remember the last time I even looked at it…the magazine rack.

Oprah caught my attention

Wow, was the first thing I thought to myself.  Do people really read all of these magazines?  How many niche markets can there be?  My eyes moved side to side like an old typewriter.  However, there was one magazine that made me stop as if my old typewriter had jammed and I was taking a closer look to figure out what the issue was. The magazine that caught my attention had a big “O” on the cover. It was Oprah Winfrey’s magazine.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I am a huge Oprah fan and am inspired by all that she has done, but I have never purchased one of her magazines.  Today would be different.

The high price of flavored water

As I walked to the counter to pay for her magazine, I decided to also buy something to drink.  I looked around at the countless number of flavored waters and just reached out and picked the color that I felt like drinking.  Just then, I glanced down at the price. Really! I shouted in my head.  Does it really cost this much to drink colored, slightly flavored distilled water? In any event, I was thirsty (and all the bars at the airport were closed) so I continued with this highway robbery.

Water and life change cost the same

I placed my “O” magazine and flavored, high priced tap water on the counter.  Just then, I noticed the price of the “O” magazine.  I could not believe it.  The sugar water I had purchased cost just as much as the “O” magazine.  I thought to myself, it costs just as much to drink tap water as it does to read something that I believed could truly change my life as it has inspired the lives of so many other people. It was at that moment I realized that for just about the same amount of money as a bottled water or coffee or energy drink, you can buy a book or a magazine that can inspire you and help you on your journey toward achieving your aspirations and  life’s purpose. So the next time you reach for that green, yellow, purple or fuchsia colored water you might as well pick up a life changing magazine or book along with it.

As soon as I am done writing this, I am going to open up my “O” magazine, learn all I can from it, apply the ideas and principles and become a better person and professional as I drink my “Water.”

To Your Story!

Ja Marr

I love that guy!  
Recently, I have been engaging in a number of discussions with people about how life seems to have changed over the past couple of years.  The overwhelming sentiment is that life has been more challenging from a professional standpoint which has had some unfortunate personal consequences.  I have always said that a person’s personal and professional lives are interconnected.  They are co-dependents of each other.  No matter how one tries to mask the issues in his or her professional or personal life, eventually one will affect the other.  I discuss this reality in great detail in my book, “What’s Your Sales Story?”  

I can see why you may be depressed
As I reflect on the sobering discussions I have had with people, it is no wonder why the majority of people seem to be a little or a lot depressed…especially when they honestly open up to you.  Here are a few of the comments I have captured:   My Responsibilities have increased but I have less time to take care of them, jobs and careers are more demanding, friends and loved ones have less time for each other, you feel like you are just surviving vs. thriving and enjoying this life that we only get one chance to live, the world seems less and less safe every day.  Yes, these are all really good reasons to feel down, but regardless of your current state of affairs as long as you wake up with the ground below you vs. above you…you can do something about it.  

One picture can change everything.
Earlier this evening, as I was digging through pictures looking for the perfect one for my daughter’s school project, there was one picture that stopped me dead in my tracks.  A smile immediately came across my face and all thoughts of stress, worry and fatigue left my mind.  Filling in the gaps made by their absence were feelings of happiness, peace, joy and optimism.  My Heart felt light and my Soul was uplifted.  My normal state of, “Anything is possible” and “The world is a beautiful and wondrous place” returned.  That transformation and this blog entry is the offspring of that photo and four words I said to myself as I looked at it, “I Love that guy!”  
I Love That Guy!    
Yes, “I Love that guy,” is what I said to myself when I looked at that photo.  As I began to write this, I understood more and more why I said those words.  It is because it is so easy in life to get so wrapped up in the day to day trials and tribulations in life that you forget who you really are and become the person that you said you would never be.  It is like the revelation that so many of us parents make when we realize that we are just like our parents.  The image of me in that photo reminded me of the person I have been striving to be in this life:  professionally successful yet fun loving and not taking myself too seriously, living life to the fullest with no regrets, young at heart and spirit, waking up feeling blessed and thanking God for all that I have, not worrying about or questioning what I don’t have, ensuring (like my parents told me as  a child) that my child’s life is better than my own, being a living example for my child that life is beautiful and all things are possible regardless of the current state or situation you are in, becoming your purpose in life and sharing your God given gifts and talents with the world, blessing others as I have been blessed.    

Now it is time to tell Your Story.
I find it fascinating that one single picture could inspire so much in me.  I guess it’s really true that, A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words.  If you can relate to any part of this blog entry and you are going through a challenging time in your life right now, I encourage you to look through your old photos and find the one that makes your say, “I love that guy or that girl.”  I want you to really think about who the person in that photo is; think about their energy, their smile, attitude, their spirit, mind and soul.  Remember who that person is and what they are all about…but most importantly, remember that that person is you.  Be that person!

To Your Story,
Ja Marr

Last year around this time, I wrote a blog entry titled, “The Best Night of My Life.” I really appreciate all of the positive feedback and comments I received from everyone that read it.  It was great to hear how such a personal and heartfelt story positively impacted so many people.  I also really enjoyed hearing the stories of other fathers and daughters who could relate.  If you have not read it yet, please do so as well as other blogs I have written.  I would love to get your thoughts, comments and stories.  In the meantime, here I am at the local coffee shop exactly a year after I wrote, “The Best Night of My Life…” getting to write about the best night of my life again. However, this time, it was the Best Day of My Life.

The Best Day of My Life

My favorite singer songwriter of all time is Lionel Ritchie.  He has written and recorded some of the most successful songs of all time. For some reason, his music touches and inspires my soul.  A few years back, I was listening to the radio and Lionel Ritchie was being interviewed about his most recent album release. I don’t remember the conversation verbatim, but essentially the interviewer asked him if he was disappointed about the fact that his most recent album had not done as well as previous albums. Lionel’s response has stuck with me ever since.  He said something to the effect of, “How can I be disappointed?  I have created some of the most successful songs of all time…Truly, Three Times a Lady, Stuck on You (my personal favorite), Sail On, Hello ect.    It is impossible for me to compete with myself.  I can’t top those songs and don’t even worry about trying. All I can do is the best I can do at the time.  Whatever happens, happens.  I just feel incredibly blessed to still be able to do what I love to do and to have had the success that I have had.”

Lionel, I can relate

You know how sometimes, you hear something that sticks with you.  You don’t know how or why it does, but you have a funny feeling that it will come in handy one day. Well, that is exactly how Lionel’s response above affected me.  My daughter’s school’s Annual Father Daughter Dance was last Saturday.  Just as I wrote in the “The Best Night of My Life” I was extremely excited and could not wait to experience that event with my daughter for the second time.  However, I must be honest with you and say that thoughts of “How can we have a better experience at the dance this year vs. last year,” crept into my mind. Just as I was going through all of the things Lexi and I could do to make this year’s experience even better than last year, Lionel Ritchie’s voice entered my thoughts and I heard him say, “You have already created the best. Don’t try and compete with yourself, just enjoy the moment and have the best time you can.  If you try and compete with last year, you will spend more time worrying about doing something that cannot be done…as opposed to being in the moment with your daughter and having the best time you can this year.” Thankfully I listened to Lionel and was amazed at what happened as a result.

Daddy, let’s go on an adventure!

As Lexi and I pulled into the parking lot, I prepared myself to be free and act like a total kid like we did last year. You see, last year, I was expecting she and I to have this formal type of Father Daughter dance experience, but all she wanted to do was to play and be a kid…so once I got over myself and allowed myself to be in the moment, I acted the same and she and I had what she termed was, The Best Night of her Life. So this year, I was expecting the same experience but what happened was the exact opposite. As we walked towards the event, Lexi grabbed my hand with that I’m not letting go firmness that those of us parents can relate to.  As we walked into the ballroom I saw a few of her friends running around and playing.  I turned to Lexi and said, “Honey, do you want to go play with your friends?”  Her response left me in shock.  She calmly said, “No, I want to stay with you.” I don’t know how many more years, weeks, months or days I have left of my daughter choosing me over her friends, but I will treat everyone one of them like it is my last. She and I sat down and ate lunch.  Several times her friends came up to our table and asked her if she wanted to go play.  To my utter surprise, she kept saying, “Not right now, I am spending time with my daddy.”  Can you feel my heart melting!

After lunch, the Fathers and Daughters were led to the dance floor where they taught us a couple of ballroom dances.  Lexi and I had a great time as she stepped on my feet and we danced to the Waltz and the Two Step.  After  dancing, I figured she would want to go on the Princess themed horse and carriage ride.  She told me that she did not want to. “Daddy, all I want to do now is go on an adventure with you.”  “What does that mean, I said.”  She said, “Let’s just walk around and discover things.” So we did.  She grabbed my hand again and we walked outside of the ballroom and simply looked around, discovered interesting things, took photos with my I Phone and talked about anything that came into our minds.  After awhile, I noticed other Fathers and Daughters following our lead and taking an adventure walk.  As we were walking, Lexi kept telling me, “Isn’t this fun daddy?  I am having a great time.” Then she asked me, “Daddy, are you having fun?”   I looked her in the eyes and said, “Lexi, this is the best day of my life.” Lionel Ritchie was right, you can’t compete with the best…but you can make the experience just as good!

Epilogue:

30 minutes or so into our adventure, several friends of Lexi’s ran up to her and begged her to go and play. I encouraged her to go and play and I took pictures.  No matter what, you have to let go sometime…but always stay close!

To Your Story!

Ja Marr

It is now 6:43 a.m. on a Saturday morning. I actually woke up at 5:45 a.m. because I wanted to play golf early and then spend the rest of the day with my family. However, here I am sitting at my kitchen table writing. The question is, Why am I at home  and not at the golf course as I had planned? You might think my answer is simple or you might think it is complicated; but let me give it to you anyway. The reason why I am sitting here vs. playing the sport I love (and got a hall pass from the wife to do this morning) is because I simply have something more important to do…not today, but in preparation for 5, 10, 15, 20 years from now.

The Now = The Future

The quote that I came up with to help guide my life is as follows: “Every action or thought either takes you closer to or further away from your aspirations in life.” Without detailing the Plan for my life, let me just say that spending my morning writing and practicing a presentation for a seminar that I am giving at my Church on Monday evening is more aligned with my future plan and aspirations than playing golf this morning. Am I bummed? No, because it is an awesome feeling to know that you made choices that will take you closer to the future you want to build for your family. Believe me, I will find time for golf…just not today. There is simply something more important to do.

A Poem on Choice

This morning, as I was reviewing the myriad of notes and ideas I have written, I came across a small spiral notebook. I remembered writing in the notebook after a friend of mine called me (several weeks ago) and asked me if I wanted to go to the golf driving range with him. Once again, I opted to not go and instead spent my time working on the audio version of my book, “What’s Your Sales Story?” The following is what I wrote about some of the choices I have made since deciding to pursue my “Life Plan.”

* You went to the driving range, played a lot of golf and your game improved. I did not go to the range, did not play as much golf and my game suffered.
* You went to bed early and woke up late. I stayed up late and woke up early as I developed my ideas.
* You hung out with friends and watched Monday night football. I hung out with family and wrote while I watched Monday night football.
* You went to the gym on a regular basis. I kept paying $25.00 a month membership fee and went to the gym seldomly…always with my personal journal in hand.
* You ate 3 meals a day. I at times was so focused and inspired that I forgot to eat.
* You thought about what you wanted to do with your life. I acted on what I wanted to do with my life.
* You were stomped by “How” you would accomplish your aspirations. I was inspired by “WHY” I wanted to achieve my aspirations.
* You talked about the time you did not have. I took advantage of the time I did have.
* You looked at other people’s success and asked, “Why them and not me?” I looked at other people’s success and said, “Let me learn as much as I can from them.”
* You led a good life but never reached your full potential. I led an inspired life and discovered that the sky truly was the limit.

Ja Marr, what does this mean?

I think the moral of the story is that the bigger your aspirations in life, the more you have to “Sacrifice.” I put the word “Sacrifice” in quotes because oddly enough, as I reread the previous section and reflected of the choices I have made, I really do not see them as “Sacrifices” at all. As a matter of fact, they were all great experiences and I would make the same choices again. They are what have made me and continue to make me the person that I am and are taking me closer to the person I want to become.

I am going to stop writing now because I could easily write a book on what I was trying to explain in the previous paragraph. As a matter of fact, I just might do that. In the meantime, I would love to read your thoughts and comments about this post.

To Your Story!

Ja Marr

Ever since I was a little kid, I have always liked to observe and listen to older adults. I remember sitting by my grandparents’ side during family get-togethers and just talking to them while the rest of my brothers and cousins played games. There were times when the adults would tell me to go and play instead of just sitting there watching them. I was simply fascinated by their knowledge and wisdom and perspective on life. Take my father for example. He is an extremely intelligent person and a great communicator, but he often times chooses to not engage in conversations despite the fact that he may be the most knowledgeable on the subject. When I was a child, one day I asked him why he did not talk much when we had company over. His response to me was, “Son, you can only learn when you listen to other people. You already know what you think and what your opinion is. By listening, you may pick up on a new perspective that you had not thought of or may learn information that can change your life.” That is one lesson I have always abided by. Two nights ago, I learned another life altering lesson from one of my mentors who is in his late 70s. Let’s call him Rudy.

Time lost while providing.

“I have not heard from you in awhile. Where have you been?” was what Rudy said to me when I answered my cell phone. “I have been traveling and working like crazy,” I said. “Oh, you have been out there providing for your family,” Rudy said. I replied, “Well, you know how that goes.” Then Rudy proceeded to tell me something that hit me like a ton of bricks. “Ja Marr,” he said, “I am retired now, but there was a time when I was just like you…out there providing for my family. I used to go to work at 6:00 AM and come home at 9:00 PM. I would be so tired that I would only have enough energy to grab a quick dinner and go to sleep. It got to the point where my kids were surprised to see me when I was home. I missed many family gatherings and significant events in my children’s lives because I was out their Providing for my family. Although I made a great living and gave my family the best material items, what I realize now, many years later was that I had spent more time Providing for my family than I did Being there for my family. And now, here I am at the twilight of my life trying to make up for lost time. However, it is too late for me and my kids. Now I am trying to do what I wish I had done years ago with my grandkids. I am just happy that I have lived long enough to do it.”

The balancing act.

After I hung up the phone with Rudy, I sat on my sofa for about 30 minutes contemplating what he had just told me. Although I have made a conscious effort to balance work and family, you can never be reminded enough of the importance of doing that. As a matter of fact, a key component of The Kaizen Way Philosophy that I developed is based on being as efficient as possible at work or in your career so that you don’t take up family time with unfinished work. If you want to learn more about The Kaizen process of being successful at work and at home, please e-mail me at info@thekaizenway.com.

I hope that everyone reading this always keeps my conversation with Rudy top of mind. At the end of the day, as you are Providing for your family, don’t forget to Be there for your family as well.

Time to tell your Story!

Please send me your comments or stories in response to this post.

To Your Story!

Ja Marr

It is pretty much inevitable when you meet someone for the first time and engage in a conversation that the subject of what each person does for a living comes up. “So, where do you work, or what do you do for a living,” are the typical questions. This discussion is 100% guaranteed to happen on the golf course because everyone is trying to figure out how the guy they are playing with can afford such an expensive game. For those of us that have passions and aspirations outside of our 9 to 5 so to speak, this question of what you do for a living can pose a mental dilemma.

When “I am” changes

Since the release of my book, What’s Your Sales Story? when asked what I do for a living, I find myself struggling with the appropriate response. Up until the release of my book, I was always very clear and decisive with my answer to that question: I am a salesperson, I am a corporate sales trainer, I am a marketing product manager, I am a sales manager, I am a Regional Sales Director; those were the answers to that question for the first 15 years of my career. They were all based on the corporate titles I held at the time. But now that I have unleashed a non-corporate undertaking with my book and blog etc, I find that my “I am a…” is changing or has changed as it were.

Who are you now?

Yes, I still have a corporate job that I am committed to and greatly enjoy. But on the other hand, writing and teaching is a very strong passion of mine. When someone asks me, What I do for a living? The answer of, “I am a writer, teacher and inspirational speaker” is absolutely exhilarating for me. As a sales manager, a major part of my job is to teach…and it is great. But when I reflect back on my life ever since I was a child and would journal every aspect of my life, from the times I got dumped in grammar school, to the loss of a loved one and even to what I wanted to be when I grew up, it all comes back to writing. So when you see me in the streets or on the golf course on an early Saturday morning and ask me what I do for a living, I will say, “I am a writer!”

What do you want to say that you do for a living?

As you can imagine, it is great to be able to say what you do for a living, and have it be something that you have always wanted to do. However, for many of us, the reality is that we are not doing what we truly want to be doing for a living. Therefore, when asked that question, your answer is tainted with either a hint of or healthy dose of regret. All my life, I was filled with the unrelenting idea that everyone can truly achieve their ambitions in life and do whatever they want to do. However, the reality is that some of us will and some of us will not. The main reason is that the sacrifices, commitment, fear, uncertainty and resources required more often than not outweighs the person’s true desire to actually achieve what that person thinks s/he wants to achieve. But contrary to popular belief, that “reality” does not have to prevent you from doing what you want to do for a living. You may not be able to leave your job or start your own company today, but you can begin to take steps towards it or actually do it while maintaining your 9 to 5. I teach people how to do this during my coaching, keynote and training seminars. I did not just quit my job and write, “What’s Your Sales Story.” I dedicated my nights and early mornings on weekends to pursue my passion for writing. Was it difficult? Absolutely. Was it worth it? I would not change any second of that journey for anything. And now, as I write to you, I am continuing to do what I love to do for a living.

The question I pose to you now is, “What do you do for a living?”

To your Story!

Ja Marr